I'd Rather Give Birth Than Step On A Lego- Class Assignment

Melissa Beckwith
12/7/2014 / Vail College English 101
Argumentative Essay

I’d Rather Give Birth Than Step On A Lego

I am currently behind in every aspect of my life.  Behind on barn work. Behind on school.  And behind on housework.  One of the most annoying sights is a cluttered room.  Clean laundry is piled on the dresser waiting to be put away.  Dirty laundry is sorted in the corner waiting to be put into the wash, but was then forgotten.  Beds aren’t made because my four-year old and the dog can’t seem to stay out of them.  Toys are scattered around the floor, strategically placed so that I will undoubtedly step on a LEGO at some point today or tonight.  I should be cleaning, but given the option of catching up on my schoolwork or cleaning the latest disaster that my daughter has created, I have opted to write.  If I wind up in the emergency room as a direct result of this decision, it will be injury or death by LEGOs.  LEGOs are both the greatest toy and the most dangerously painful toy ever designed by man.

The LEGO Group was founded in 1932 and LEGO brick in it’s present form, was launched in 1958.  The name “LEGO” is an  abbreviation of the two Danish words “leg godt”, meaning “play well” (Froberg Morensen, Tine).  Coincidentally, those two words are very similar to the words one may scream after having stepped on one LEGO, resulting in a fall where one’s leg crashes into another LEGO.  Stepping on a LEGO sends a shooting pain through one’s foot and up their leg, causing them to gasp, no weeze a deep breath of agonizing pain inward.  No words will be uttered.  The pain is too great.  One will then fall forward, scrambling to find the safest way to land among other LEGOS.  LEGOs cause pain to every part of the body. One does not want a hand to land on a LEGO and for a split second they may wonder if their face could better sustain the impact.  It is at this point in time, that one will partially catch themselves by bending their knees and then it happens-- their shin comes down on that second LEGO. “MY LEG GODT!” The pain is too great to complete that fourth word and results in a “t” sound being added to the end of God.

LEGOs cause an unbelieveable amount of pain when stepped on.  This is partially due to how insanely sensitive the soles of our feet are.  Our feet are constantly working to keep us balanced and the information from the nerves in them are vital for allowing the brain to adjust accordingly to keep a person from falling over (Smallwood, Karl).  Anytime one’s sole of their foot comes in contact unexpectedly with an object, there is a great deal of pain, but what makes the pain from LEGOs so much worse is that they do not give.  A LEGO can be subject to approximately 4,240 Newtons of Force before it deforms.  This means that a single LEGO can support approximately 950lbs before it reaches it’s breaking point and compresses (Alexander, Ruth).  When one considers that durability combined with the little knobs and relatively sharp corners on a LEGO, with impact forces to around 9 times our body weight when moving, one will understand why a LEGO causes so much pain when stepped on. (Smallwood, Karl).

While LEGOs are one of the most dangerously painful toys ever designed, they are also one of the greatest toys ever designed.  LEGOs are educational; they teach basic mechanics and encourage creativity in both children and adults alike.  They are also fairly inexpensive and one purchase will provide years of fun (6 Reasons Why LEGO is the Greatest Toy Ever!).  My daughter will play with her LEGOs for hours, allowing me to complete this paper that is way overdue.  The LEGO’s interlocking principle with it’s tubes make it unique and offers unlimited building possibilities (Froberg Mortensen, Tine).  My daughter has designed various creations using LEGOS, including castles, dinosaurs, monsters, and even a water slide.  LEGOs come in multiple colors, shapes, and sizes and have helped her learn her colors and the differences between a square, a rectangle, and a quarter-circle.  She and I have spent hours creating and learning things through the use of LEGOs.

LEGOs are both the greatest toy and the most painful toy ever designed. They probably should be banned from my home. My child often skips picking up her toys and stepping on LEGOs is a regular occurrence. There have been many occasions where I have reached for a trash bag and seriously considered throwing out those dangerous little blocks. But I always change my mind. While the pain of stepping on a LEGO is like no other pain one can feel--I would rather give birth than step on a LEGO-- the memories and learning that have revolved around playing with LEGOs have been valuable and should continue to be played with in my home.

Works Cited

“6 Reasons Why Lego is the Best Toy Ever!”. Binary Moon. October 22, 2008. Web. December 7, 2014.

Alexander, Ruth. “How Tall Can A LEGO Tower Get?”. BBC News. December 4, 2012. Web. December 7, 2014.

Froberg Mortensen, Tine. “LEGO History Timeline”. LEGO. January 9, 2012. Web. December 7, 2014.

Smallwood, Karl. “Why Does Stepping On A Lego Hurt So Much?” Today I Found Out. June 2014. Web. December 7, 2014.